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Your questions and thoughts


Last week you out surpassed yourself. Two pictures that were the very best I have seen so far. I had so many wanks and thoughts and fantasies over them. Thanks John



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I am alone and turning 70. Would you consider it hurtful if your one remaining family member (younger sister) chose to go away on a lavish holiday to the same place every year during the week of your birthday? I know I should be too old for this to matter, but we both lost our younger brother and our parents within the last two years. She's done this for three years now. Should I just let it go, even though it hurts ?


I think you need to realise that we all deal with loss of bereavement differently and you seem to be expecting your sister to come to your aid if and when you need. She is an individual with her own life and why should she spend time alone with you at any time - come to that - you are not joined at the hip - or are you ? IOt is a sad time for you both but you seem to need her while she does not need you and plans something special each year to ' entertain herself' at a bad time - and maybe you need to do the same.

If this is all because you are lonely and have no friends and rely on family, then that extra pressure on your sister will also push her away as she is not your carer and you need to manage your own life - and stop wanting others to be part of it when it seems they do not want to be.

You are 70 - find your own friends and people to hang out with and allow your sister to do the same.


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John: Been alone for most of my life. Single child of a single mother. Never had a relationship. Never married, never had a boyfriend or girlfriend and never had sexual contact with another. I am what they would call in the old days - a virgin. I am 76 years of age.

I had dreams and fantasies once - and once the gay laws were legalised in the late 1960's I thought I would come out and have a life, but I didn't, was too scared to be open, too nervous of being found out as gay and too embarrassed. I worked as a Civil Servant for over 40 years - in much the same office doing much the same job for much the same day in and year out. One year was the same as the year / decade before. I never went anywhere. Never been abroad. Never been to London. Never left the county I was born in and have spent my life in. I suppose I have lived a very small and sheltered life not doing anything or going anywhere. Have I missed out. Horace Edward.


Horace, you have only missed out if you now feel you have wasted your life and if you feel this way, then you have to look at your reasons for staying so safe and a virgin and only you can truly answer that question. What were you afraid of ?

Life is what WE make it, you and I - ourselves and we cannot rely on others as they let you down. The gay mens laws were put in place over 50 years ago and yet you remained in the closet, as many have, but to remain there with the door firmly closed and you remain a virgin is uncommon to say the least.

We had an 85 year old married man ( wife recently deceased ) who came out here and found himself - truly found himself, after a lifetime in a straight relationship and in his old age, found himself and life started late, but it started. It is never too late Horace.


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Two couples are playing cards. John accidentally drops some cards on the floor.


When he bends down under the table to pick them up, he notices that Bill's wife isn't wearing any underwear.

Later, John goes into the kitchen to get some refreshments.

Bill's wife follows him and asks, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"

John admits that he did.

She says, "You can have it, but it will cost you $100."

They decide that John should come to her house around 2 p.m. on Friday while Bill is at work.

On Friday, John arrives at 2 p.m.

He pays Bill's wife $100.

They go to the bedroom, have sex and then John leaves.

When Bill comes home at 6 p.m., he asks his wife, "Did John come by this afternoon?"

Reluctantly, she replies, "Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes."

Next Bill asks, "Did he give you $100?"

She thinks, "Oh hell, he knows!" Finally she says, "Well, yes, he did give me $100."

"Good," Bill says.

"John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back."


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John. As the gay scene implodes up its own butt hole and as many from within the LGBT scene appear to 'eat their own' - I have to congratulate you on how you read it as it is and speak so many truths and I can see why you are a contentious person people love to either love or hate. Personally i hate you for being right, being so right - and for all that you do. I actually envy like crazy and would love the opportunity to do what you are doing and I am sure there are thousands like me, who hate you because they envy you - and actually - love you for showing the way forward and how there are still some decent people in the world of shallow queens, bullies, opionated faggots and vile fuck-ups. You show us a way forwad John and i truly - TRULY admire you for that. F.G.

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John. Where do you get the time to do all that you offer us ? Nick.



Good question: I work long hours and even when my staff are having an afternoon nap - because we all work long hours - I am here researching, reading, writing and sorting and rarely get a nap even when knackered. If I see something I like, it do it there and then and this can mean a lot of hours at this computer. Your appreciation is all that is needed to continue and to know how much joy it brings many.

Thanks guys.

John Bellamy


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