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Dec 5, 2025
2 min read

Little Johnny confidently walks into a pharmacy ...

... and asks the pharmacist for a cõndõm. He explains that he's been invited to his girlfriend's house for dinner and he thinks he might have a chance.

The pharmacist gives him a cõndõm. As he's leaving, Little Johnny returns and asks for another cõndõm because he thinks his girlfriend's sister is cute too and he might have a chance there as well. The pharmacist gives him a second cõndõm.

Little Johnny then asks for one more cõndõm because he thinks his girlfriend's mum is pretty cute and she might be expecting something since she invited him for dinner in the first place.

During dinner, Little Johnny sits with his girlfriend on his left The sister on the right and the mum facing him. When the dad walks in, Johnny lowers his head and starts a long dinner prayer, thanking the Lord for all they've been given. Ten minutes pass and he's still praying, keeping his head down, very close to the table. They all turn to look at each other, surprised.

His girlfriend is shocked, not knowing how religious her boyfriend was. His girlfriend whispers, I didn't know you were so religious. Little Johnny, with his head still at the table, turns slightly and says, I never knew your dad was a pharmacist.

A married couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary at home, just the two of them, enjoying a few bottles of champagne.

After a few glasses, the husband, feeling sentimental and a little bold, looked lovingly at his wife and said, “Honey, after all these years, be honest with me. Have you ever cheated on me?”

She hesitated for a moment, then sighed. “Since you’re asking... I have - three times.”

“What? Three times?!” he exclaimed.

“Let me explain,” she said gently. “The first time was when we had just gotten married. You needed that heart surgery, and we couldn’t afford it. I… made a deal with the surgeon, and he did the operation for free.”

The husband blinked, stunned. “Wow… that’s- well, that was actually very kind of you. I guess I owe my life to that.”

He took another sip and asked, “Alright… what about the second time?”

“Remember when you were passed over for that promotion? I met with your boss, and after… some persuasion, he gave you the job.”

He rubbed his forehead. “I suppose I might’ve earned it anyway - but, well, thank you.”

Then he asked nervously, “And the third time?”

She smiled sweetly.

“Do you recall two years ago when you wanted to be elected president of the baseball club - and you were short fifty-three votes…?”