I DON'T WANT TO JOIN THE MILITARY - PERIOD.

John. I am a gay youth. I am soon to be 17 and my Father will not accept this and wants to ' make a man out of me ' and his intentions are to sign me up for the military no matter what I say or do. What can I do ? My Mother seems to have no say in the matter at all as he has always been a bully and over rides her all the time.

John Bellamy responds.

Go along with it. When you go for MEPS you’ll be alone on your own. At this point you have numerous opportunity to sabotage your medical exam.

Tell them your feet hurt when you stand for long periods and screw up the exam when they have you jump or stand.

Tell them you had asthma as a kid. Dusty air and pollen make it hard for you to breath.

You have alergies to certain foods and dairy products.

Bad hearing is always good. Screw up your ear exam. (Don’t admit to hearing sounds when you 1st hear them wait until they drop it down or up a few times.)

Bad eye site is also good. Screw up your vision exam.

Be really nervous and hesitate before answering questions.

Tell them you have always been attracted to men in uniform, so how hard can it be to be in barracks with 20 other men.

Or you know you could just tell the folks at MEPS your father made you come and that as a gay man you would rather study interior design, hair dressing or be Cabin Crew ( but use the expression'Trolley Dolley;' as its camper ) or some other typicall career that is seen as 'gay' and this will make the MEPS stop and think.

Have you ever just sat and talked to your Father and told him how you hate the thought of the military and ( maybe tell him how men in uniform are your biggest wank fodder and being in the military could cause problems for all concerned ) and how this will put a never ending barrier between you both and how it will ruin your relationship and how as an adult you can do what you like without his permission and be that gay or straight, it is your choice to make and not his.

Try standing up to him as a soldier would. Take no flak. Take no prisoners. Tell him flat out that this will ruin any chance of a son/father relationship and how if he forces you into this, he may well never see you again. Tell him to his face he is a bully. Tell him even your Mother is afraid of him. Tell him you have had enough and will not tollerate it any longer. If this means leaving home, remember your Mother has a say in the household and invite her into the discussion and DO NOT allow your Father to brow beat her into submission, as maybe that's been his way all through their maried life, stand up and show him YOU ARE A MAN, and that you can and will make your own decisions and journey in life and how YOU WILL NOT allow him to bully you into something just because he feels a lacking in his own life somewhere.

The military can be a very good path forward for many. It teaches stability - routine - life rules - and so much more. People who come from a chaotic childhood where there were no rules and chaos ruled the day to day life, learning some life guidelines as taught in the military can be a very good thing for some, but total destruction of the human soul for others. It is NOT everyones cup of tea to have their personality destroyed and replaced by a ' YES SIR, STRAIGHT AWAY SIR, ANYTHING YOU SAY SIR' mentality of submission to another.

You are also being taught to be a killing machine.

Is that what you want for your destiny ? Stand strong and good luck.

------------------------------------------------- John Bellamy