I'm still here
Twenty one years ago when I first opened Hamilton Hall, there were those who hoped it would be something else, something they wanted and not what I wanted.
Then there were those who wanted Hamilton Hall steered in a very different spiritul direction and not open to all spiritual journeys, and as this was also not what I wanted, this was not to be.
Then there were various groups who because I had the building and was doing my 'own thing' ( and maybe because after 15 years hard graft as a sex worker / escort - some REALLY do envy and resent =and some, because of their belief structure, see me as evil and wrong when sex is sex and even Jesus had sex - so get over yourselves ) and something these groups had failed at for decades, forming a community - and a few resented - while a few others seethed - absolutely seethed - with green eyed jealousy and envy and complete srangers spat venim in my direction even though we had never met. The green eyed monster strikes again and it is this monster that ends up closing many good venues, many worthy people leave the business and the community as a whole loses out because of the few.
Homophobia comes from within the community and only occasionally from without.
There have always been those closet gays who have sent hate mail and those who live the lie ( married with kids and angry at their lot in life - their predicament as they see it, and their complete lack of courage at ' coming out' and being who they are / were meant to be - maybe ) and instaed have been miserable in a sexless relationshop bringing up children and bear a grudge towards anyone they see as NOT living the lie and living an out gay lifestyle with no problems - as they see it.
Then you have those who stand behind a counter / or a bar, or in an office all day long bored to death with their unfulfilling job and are embittered at their lot in life, which was, after all , their choice.
A few will send anonymous hate mail - nasty and childish resentment that screams from the page and for all to hear how unhappy they ar when the fact remains, by asking nicely, I would offer them a free weekend or even longer - but because they send hate filled messages, ha ha - I don't and - because of their own actions, they miss out - again - and scream and wonder why life is so bad for them ( as they see it ) when it is all their own doing.
I have had more than my fair share of abuse screamed at me - e mailed, posted and even through Trip Advisor - and yet - there is one thing I became aware of -
I AM STILL HERE !
WHERE ARE THOSE WHO COULD NEVER THINK ANYTHING NICE ABOUT HAMILTON HALL ?
Where are those committee members who offered so little of their time and complained about anyone else.
Where is the man through Naked Mates who claimed that living here at Hamilton Hall and paying £1,200 a month - he would expect part ownership in the freehold of the building... ( I despair ) ...and I can only guess the council has NOT given him part ownership of his council flat as - er - that's not how rent works. It was said out of complete envy so by pushing it away with an attack - tells me he would absolutely have loved to come live here but could not afford it - so tried to damn and destroy rather than support - and guess what - even at the time, the other members on the site rounded on him and put him in his place and I was humbled at the support and understanding shown to myself and my venue - and I am so often humbled by what we have achieved here and continue to achieve and all the while -
I AM STILL HERE !
Hamilton Hall has gone from strength to strength and changed direction in accordance to the recession, the pandemic and the changing times of the LGBTQ Community and how most things are done ' on line' these days while in the real world, Hamilton Hall and myself - will always be here for you as long as we can, and will always be offering friendship, trust, care, attention, enlightenment, family and support - all hard to find on the LGBTQ scene and all hard for some to comprehend. Do not assume it comes with strings attached as that is YOUR ball game and not mine. If everything I did had strings attached, would I still be working 15 hours a day 7 days a week at aged 66 for no wages and all I get is 2 rooms and my board and lodgings for investing all my money in this venture ? Hell no ... I would spend my money on a villa in spain or France and would be relaxing by my own pool and having a ball, but I choose to put something back into the gay community as - er - someone has to. It's not all take take take and without the few brave souls who put a toe into the gay market - I can suggest a deep sea divers kit as if you are not prepared for the bitchiness and resentment, you would soon be pulled under and would drown under the plethora of abuse from envious men hiding in the shaddows.
I AM STILL HERE
Tens of thousands from all over the world have appreciated and visited and not expected the freehold for their payments and ultimately, have thoroughly enjoyed their stay with us here and hundreds have become regular visitors.
Where are those who were showing us how unhappy they were and how unfulfilled they felt - so abused others to help make themselves feel a little better - the oldest trick in the book.
Bounce onto others YOUR problems and fears and accuse them of having them...
Where are they these days - because I AM STILL HERE.
Since re opening after 3 seperate times closed because of Covid where all hotels were closed by the government - in all for about a full 12 months, we have come bouncing back as large as as full of life and as busy as ever - and while the weather has not been very good this summer and we have had our quiet spells- we are currently full and with the weather improving and the sun coming out - bookings are once again flooding in and it is wonderful to
a) be busy in business and have every room full -
b) have money coming in -
c) see you all again and share a laugh.
We have all been through the shit - all felt lost and confused - and with this pandemic going on and on and not over by a long way as yet, Hamilton Hall is still here and open and supporting and understanding and enjoying once again greeting so many regulars and new comers to this - the only such venue in the UK and not some boring magnolia place with no atmosphere.
I AM STILL HERE.
Any time you want to join us here and experience Hamilton Hall for the first time, or maybe a repeat visit, know we are here and we shall always offer a hand of friendship to those willing to meet us half way. As with anything in life, it's up to you - and
I AM STILL HERE -------------------