LIFE - according to John w/e 29/03/26
- 1 day ago
- 8 min read
" Good news" or "Good tidings,"
Originating from the Old English gōdspel
A death at Hamilton Hall
All I heard was the door bell go and then a few minutes later what seemed like a fight was brewing in the hall.
I entered the afray to find this tall customer about to ' round off' against Woody, and I leaped into the afray and ordered him to leave, as if ON ENTRY and before we had even done registration, this customer was about to have a fight with Woody ??? and WTF ???
He was tall, at least 6'2" and heavy built and clearly something was wrong. This was not normal behaviour and with tens of thousands of customers in the past, this has certainly never happened before.
I orderd him to leave and his booking was cancelled and took his bag and put it by the front door - and as I turned around, he stood there crying saying
'I've nowhere else to go. My whole family have turned against me and , I have nowhere else to go.'
Being empathic, I felt his pain and felt what he was going through and I felt such sadness for him.
That's when I got it. He was an alcoholic and this had driven the family away as - after years of coping with an heavy drinker within the family, and not knowing WTF and how to handle someone like this - they had come to the end of their tether and had had enough. Alcoholics seem oblivious to the fact that friends and family around CAN TELL SOMETHING IS WRONG and while the drinker may live in denial, the rest of us can see perfectly well what is wrong.
Decades ago my sister had died from too much Vodka over a sustained few decades. Her liver packed up and she was only 38 years of age. Tragic loss. Tragic waste. Like so many, I had tried to help, tried to council, tried to do all sorts of things to help her but, after a long while and after much abuse and denial and refusal to accept help and where it was now affecting my life, I had to pull away from my siser and I couldn't help any more as it was just too hard, and she died a year later and I always wished I had tried just one more time, just been there, just been the brother she needed, but becase of years of abuse - everyone pulled away and she found herself isolated.
Tragic end to a fashion model, X Bluebell Girl and dancer in Paris Lido Club.
So when I figured out what was going on in my hotel lobby, I made sure I was going to be here to help this man, and allowed him to stay on very strict conditions, that he allow me to help get him into the AA ( Alcoholics Anonymous ) We talked at length and his daughter on the phone that evening told her Father to ' Fuck off' - as she was fed up with his behaviour and his brother had done the same and as this was all the family he talked about, he was grief stricken at how low his life had become and all because of alcohol - NOT DRUGS - BUT BOOZE and all totally legal and taxable.
That afternoon I called the local AA and spoke to someone who arranged to come and meet at Hamilton Hall and take him to a meeting, and on return he was thrilled at how well it had gone and cried with me that as everyone had given up on him and that here I was, a stranger helping as best I could, and he was very emotional because I told him I would NOT turn away - after the experience with my sister, and that I would stand by him.
The next night he returned from the AA meeting looking like a different man, and asked if he could get a pizza delivered later and of course I said yes.
Didn't see him that evening but in the morning the pizza delivery was a bottle of Jack Daniels and he was sat on the couch all day watching telly and while he seemed ' out of it' - we kept an eye on him every 45 minutes or so.
Later in the evening Gary came upstairs where Woody and I were watching telly and said he thought he looked dead and at first we thought he was mucking about with us, but we went down and there he was, dead on the lounge floor.
Instanty Woody was on the phone and doing chest compressions and got his heart going again and within minutes the ambulance and police arrived and with at least 8 people with stretchers and equipment filling the hall and lounge, all we could do was sit back and watch.
They compressed on his chest for at least another 40 minutes while the idiot police pissed us off asking repeated questions again and again as if we were going to change our story and after a while I had to tell the police off - as we had a dead body on our lounge floor and will answer questions but NOT when the same dip shit policewoman keeps asking the same thing over and over and I told her off, and that we would NOT be answering any more redundant questions and that the answers were not going to change regardless of how many times she asks the same dip shit questions, and while she didn't like it, WE WERE VICTIMS IN ALL OF THIS - and she showed absolutely no empathy at all and I told her off. I WAS NOT about to allow this kind of obnoxius behaviour - especially from a policewoman who showed absolutely no compassion or understanding at all.
In the middle of all the mayhem, and remember the hall was full of people and equipment;- a guest we had staying just walked down stairs and walked through the mayhem as if nothing at all was out of the ordinary and went out for the evening, and he never said a word while seeing all this chaos. We stood and watched as he left, and we did turn to each other and laugh, as we did during this whole thing. I wanted to make sure Woody and Gary were ok with what was happening and that this would not sadden them too much and I did keep the converstaion between us light and in some instances, funny, as The Critical Care man, well, he had the buns to die for and we did keep it light, in order to starve off going into full melt down tears and WTF mode ...
Eventualy they said he was stable enough to take to hopsital, but we all knew he was dead, as a gay man I have seen a few dead people before and you don't need to be an idiot to see and know when someone is dead. but they insisted the heart was going so - they took him away in Ambulance.
Suddenly the place was empty. From around a dozen people all working and taking loudly, there was silence and emptiness. Just Woody, Gary and myself.
We put the kettle on, rolled a very large smoke - and chilled together talking about what had just happened and what we thought would happen next.
Nothing did.
The coroners Court phoned a few days later to ask what we knew about the man, which was nothing but his name address and credit card number... He was dead and the officer wanted to know who to contact - ie: his family - but I could not help as I didn't know the man from Adam.
We have all seen Fawlty Towers with the dead body in the hotel... well it was nothing like that.
In the midst of a tragedy, we did find humour.
In the middle of panic, we pulled together.
When facing death, it helped us value life.
It may have been Darrel's final exit, but I see it as a new beginning for his spirit.
Other than a phone call from a relative who I spoke gently with one afternoon, we never heard again. His luggage was all newly bought from primark and was very little of it, and he had nothing - and the police took his phone etc,. and then... it was over.
Once Woody cleaned the carpet in the lounge where he had been laying, and urinating, it was as if nothing had happened.
I smudged the Lounge and cleansed its energy and cleansed the aura of death from the house and we, the living, continued on as before.
Naturally, Hamilton Hall has experienced death under her roof as I know about Peggy who died here before I came here - some time between 1980 and 1995, and she had been 105 years of age, so, it was Peggy's time.
I shall never forget Darrel - as he shared his name with my X lover from America - Darryl - and it was alcohol that ruined HIS life as well and alcohol that killed them both.
Alcohol ruined his relationships with family - ruined his job - ruined his health and taken from him, his very last breath - the evil here is the alcolol. Legal. Taxed. Considered socially acceptable and - actually - a good laugh - while slowly destroying communities, family life and even life itself.
There is no ghost of Darrel here. There is no ghost of anyone here. Hamilton Hall absolutely loves what we do here and you will find great joy, love and laughter within her walls and I know she loves having us here. As for Darrel. I truly believe he came here to die. To find people who cared and would take the time, even if briefly at the end, to show that he was not alone and that someone WOULD stand by him and help support and would NOT pull away and would be loyal. And at least at the end, he found someone who listened and understood.
It was, after all, just another day in the life of Hamilton Hall and one I shall always remember with love, with tears, with regrets and with sympathy for all concerned.
John Bellamy
You are not alone. Together, we find strength and hope. You are one step away.
Simply search your town or postcode to find your nearest AA meeting.
You make, and take, from the news that which you wish to see and hear. You observe what you want and comment of things that affect you personally. If you don't like something, do not read it and move on but do not shy away from what IS going on in the world of which - you are a part. World news is so easy to find these days and differing opinions not hard to find. Having an opinion is vital and being a ' don't care' person helps no one. So open your mind - open your heart - open your awareness and ALWAYS be open to new ideas.
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