You have to laugh.....
- gaymen2
- 6 days ago
- 9 min read
Kate was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner. Her husband Paul was in the living room drinking a beer and watching the game.
"Honey, you need to come in here and fix the fridge. The door is broke and if you dont fix it the food will go bad," Kate said. Paul yells back, "Who do I look like the GE man, I Dont think so."
A little while later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the hall light, its out." "Who do I look like an electrician, I dont think so," Paul says.
A few minutes later Kate says, "Honey, you need to fix the porch step before someone gets hurt on it." Paul quickly replies, "Who do I look like a carpenter, I dont think so." Frustrated, he gets up and leaves.
He decides to go to a bar down the road. After the game was over, he began to feel slightly guilty for the way he treated his wife so he went on home. He comes up the porch and realizes that the step is fixed. He walked into the house and noticed that the hall light was fixed. He walked into the kitchen to get a cold beer and noticed that the fridge was fixed.
Paul sees his wife and says, "Babe, how did you fix all this."
She looked at him and said,
"Well after you left I began to cry on the porch. A fine young man walked past and noticed I was crying and he asked me what he could do to help. He fixed everything. I asked him what I could do for payment." He said "I could either bake him a cake or sleep with him."
Paul says, Well - what kind of cake did you bake him?"
Kate looks at him and replies, "Who do I look like Betty Crocker, I dont think so!"
By Jon Speed
I did laugh when I read this piece below.
We British know that 93% of you couldn't find us on an atlas, on a Mercator Projection, a globe or Google Earth.
You think Europe is a country, have no concept of national languages, ‘Why don't they speak ‘Murican in Germany?’, and haven't yet navigated your way out of Grandma's basement.
Keep those gunshot wounds ticking along, it feeds the propaganda machine that has you convinced that Universal Healthcare is socialism. And yet somehow the Police Department, the Fire Service, the Rangers, the FBI, the CIA, public schools, your weekly refuse (sic) collection are funded in a capitalist way.
We don't hate you, we pity you. Education deficiency is a dangerous thing in society, for that example look no further than the Khmer Rouge. I'd start wearing contact lenses if I were you.
Don't let envy get the better of you.
Toodle Pip old bean.
The Norwegian girlfriend of Nigerian footballer Boniface called off their engagement — just months before the wedding — and ended a 4-year relationship after discovering that all of her future fiancé’s fortune was under his mother’s name.
They had been dating for more than four years, and she had been pressuring him to get engaged and then married.
To her surprise, she found out that Boniface didn’t have anything under his own name… All the money, mansions, and cars he owned were registered under his mother. Upon realizing this, she decided to cancel the engagement and end the relationship.
JB COMMENTS: What a horrible women, Nothing but a money grabbing, gold digging, whore. He probably did this to save him marrying such a vile piece of shit in the first place and thank goodness he did and now the world knows exactly what sort of women she is;- a but like Amber Hurd, who turned out to be a vile piece of shit while claiming to be the innocent victim. Women like this can be so vile and only see £ and $ and not love at all, it's all about money.
Trump is such a child, give him some.worm milk,
change his diaper, give him his Epstein dolly and send him to bed .
TRUMP WILL LOSE HIS MIND WHEN HE HEARS WHAT JIMMY KIMMEL JUST SAID
Donald Trump is obsessed with silencing anyone who won’t worship him - and tonight, he’s not going to like this one bit.
On national television, Jimmy Kimmel didn’t just mock Trump. He dismantled him. Calmly. Clearly. And right to his ego.
Here’s the full quote Trump is absolutely going to rage-post about:
“My country’s president would like to shut me up because I don’t adore him in the way he likes to be adored. We won, the president lost and now I’m back on the air every night giving the most powerful politician on earth a right and richly deserved bollocking.”
That’s not a joke.
That’s a diagnosis.
Trump can’t stand criticism. He never could.
And when it comes from someone with a massive platform who isn’t afraid of him, it drives him completely over the edge. This is why Trump attacks comedians. This is why he attacks journalists.
This is why he attacks judges, protesters, and anyone who won’t bend the knee.
Because authoritarians can’t tolerate being laughed at - especially when the laughter comes with truth.
Kimmel reminded America of something Trump desperately wants us to forget: he lost. The people won. And no amount of whining, threats, or temper tantrums can change that.
So yes - Trump is absolutely going to lose his shit over this.
And honestly?
That reaction tells you everything you need to know.
JB COMMENTS: Does Trump not get that the entire world is laughing at him, at America, at his appalling business sense and at his dysfunctional but oh so public - family. Does he think we all adore when the truth is he is the most hated and vile person on the planet and his actions, his rhetoric of vile bile spewed against anyone he sees fit, is disgraceful - absolutely disgraceful, and if he were my child, he would be severly reprimanded and sent t obe witbout his MacDonanls for tea. and grounded for the rest of his entire life.
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THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS
Last night, my son Jordan came into my room and said, "Mom, let me tell you what happened to me today! I was at Walmart, getting ready to leave, when my car battery died. So, I went back into the store and bought some jumper cables...
There was a man in a white truck parked next to me. I asked if he could give me a jump, and he said what I really needed was a new battery. I told him I couldn’t afford a new battery right now because I had a $400 insurance bill due today. The man asked if I was a single parent because I had the baby with me, and I told him, 'No, her mom is at work.' He told me to pull around to the auto department, so I did. I thought he was going to have them charge my battery. But Walmart auto was really busy, so the man said, 'Follow me to Auto Zone.'
I followed him to the store. The man went inside, talked to someone, then came back to my car and said someone would be out in a few minutes. He shook my hand and drove off. A few minutes later, an employee came out with a brand new battery to put in my car! Jordan had tears in his eyes!
He said, 'Mom, I didn’t even know the man’s name!'
To the kind gentleman driving the white truck in North Augusta yesterday, who helped my son and granddaughter… Thank you!!!"
Frank Sinatra was dining at an upscale restaurant in Los Angeles when he noticed a young waiter looking distressed. Sinatra, known for his sharp eye and ability to readpeople, observed the waiter speaking quietly with another staff member about something clearly troubling him.
The singer, always curious about the lives of those around him, called the young man over and casually asked, “What’s on your mind, kid?”
Hesitant at first, the waiter admitted he was struggling to pay for his college tuition. His dream was to finish school and build a better future, but mounting costs had made it nearly impossible. He had taken extra shifts at the restaurant, working long hours just to stay afloat, yet it wasn’t enough.
Sinatra listened intently, nodding as the young man explained his situation. After a brief pause, Sinatra pulled out his checkbook and asked, “How much do you owe?”
The waiter, thinking it was just a friendly question, hesitated before giving him the number. Without another word, Sinatra wrote a check covering the entire amount.
When the stunned waiter tried to refuse or offer some form of repayment, Sinatra simply slid the check across the table and said, “Just do something good for someone else someday.”
The staff at the restaurant, accustomed to serving celebrities, had seen stars come and go, but this moment was different. Sinatra wasn’t looking for attention or public praise—he never did when it came to his charitable acts. He simply saw a kid in need and did what he could to help. The story of this moment spread among those who worked in the restaurant industry, becoming another example of Sinatra’s legendary generosity.Sinatra’s reputation as a tough, no-nonsense personality often overshadowed his deep sense of loyalty and kindness.
Those in his inner circle knew he had a soft spot for hardworking people trying to make something of themselves. He had spent his own youth in Hoboken, New Jersey, watching his parents struggle to make ends meet. Though he later achieved massive fame with hits like "Strangers in the Night" and "My Way," he never forgot the value of lending a hand to someone who needed it.
This wasn’t an isolated incident. Throughout his life, Sinatra privately helped countless people, from struggling musicians to strangers he met by chance. On another occasion, he reportedly left a $2,000 tip for a cab driver who had driven him across town late at night. Once, he paid off a struggling friend’s mortgage without being asked. He even sent money anonymously to hospital patients and war veterans who had no idea where the funds came from.
The young waiter who received Sinatra’s generosity never forgot what had happened that night. He graduated from college, pursued his dreams, and carried the lesson with him: a simple act of kindness could change a life. Years later, when he was in a position to help others, he followed Sinatra’s advice and paid it forward.
JB COMMENTS: You read stories like this all the time and sadly, sometimes, they are CLICK BAIT - FAKE - and who knows what the truth is but regardless of true or false, it makes for a nice story.
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A man entered the ER with severe lower abdominal pain and debilitating cramps, and a green piece of plastic protruding from his glans penis..
Medical imaging showed that something was in his bladder which made peeing next-to-impossible, and since the patient’s bladder was about to burst, emergency surgery was needed. And what came out of this man’s body was absolutely baffling: -
A green plastic cable measuring 12 feet (3.66 meter) in length, which somehow had been inserted down there, and which had mechanically rolled up inside the patient’s bladder.
The man could not explain how the cable had ended up in his glans (and bladder), except for stating that “it was an accident.”
The closest he came (yes indeed) to giving some actual insight on the matter was that “he wanted to know how it felt.” And now he knew.
JB COMMENTS: For goodness sake. I find it outreageous that this man did this, didn't think it through, didn't tell the doctors and assumed the hospital would figure it out..... How moronic can you be. If you want to find out what it feels like, come to our Cock and Ball weekend and I can teach you in a safe and controlled environment and NOT by shoving some stupid thing down your dick and causing problems for yourself. Come and be shown and learn from the most experienced workshop facilitator in the UK catering solely for men, and who has the most sexual experience - probably - than anyone you are ever likely to meet and there can be no better teacher.
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