a kick in the nuts.

I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so

I sat down and had a cold beer.

The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.

My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing,

and I said, "Nothing."

The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"

At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.

Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?

Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know?

Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion:

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

But you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts."

I rest my case.

Time for another beer. Then maybe a nap.

----------------------------------------------


"I left the office today to go home and grab a quick bite to eat when I saw this elderly man standing with his walker with his thumb out?

I paused, made a U-turn, and went back to see if he needed some assistance.

He said he was trying to get to the dollar store about 1.5 miles away.

My first thought was that this guy was trying to get some food so I decided to help out.

Once on the road, I had a couple questions for him:

How old are you? 93

What's your name? Mike

Are you married? Yes, my wife is 94 her name is Doris

Does she know you're gone? Nope, she probably hasn't even started looking for me yet.

Why are we going to the store?

My wife and I like to share a Hershey chocolate bar every night and we're out so I need to buy 30 Hershey Bars.

I gave him my card and said next time you need some chocolate no need to try and hitch a ride, just give me a call and I look forward to meeting Doris."


--------------------------------------------------

My mom took this photo..

On the left I had attempted suicide & overdosed.. I took 80 sleeping pills with a bottle of NyQuil.. with tons of liquor and an 8 ball of cocaine and a little bit of meth..

After 11 years addicted to drugs and alcohol.

On the right I’m almost 8 months sober.💙


If you would’ve told me back then that life will be better and that I’ll find happiness I would’ve said you were lying. I’m clean and serene these days and life is so beautiful.. my daughter and I are rekindling our relationship.. I’m rebuilding relationships that I’ve torn apart due to my addiction..


I have friends in recovery who I can call and they will be anywhere I need them to be in a heartbeat. Life is so great and I choose recovery these days.

-Tyler

----------------------------------

JB comments: This moved me as we move forward after loosing a customer recently who was an alcoholic and so wanted to get better but the booze got the better of him and he died. It so saddened me and I wanted to share this with you to show that some do recover, do make better lives for themselves and those around him and do manage to patch up any problems caused and move on.

---------------------------------










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