COMPETITION TIME
- gaymen2
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
Win a free weekend for 2 persons at Hamilton Hall
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Write a short story to do with the picture above.
e mail your stories to
TITLED - ' THE SPARTANS'
Please, no 24 chapters, just one page.
All stories will be judged by our ' in house team' here at Hamilton Hall and the winning story shared in this Newsletter in a months time, so get your stories in a.s.a.p. to win a FREE WEEKEND / 2 NIGHT STAY - Bed and Breakfast and with Dinners included. Twin or Double Room.
The prize is not available over a Special Event weekend but will include the Naked Chill Out weekends. No other workshop period though. Non transferable. Has no moneytary value to sell. To be used by the author and one friend only. Can be added to a pay to stay period. All normal Terms & Conditions apply.
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When Forest Gump passed away, he arrived at the Pearly Gates and stood in front of St. Peter. St. Peter said,
"Welcome, Forest. We've heard so much about you." Then he said, "But it's getting crowded up here, so now we have to give people a little test before letting them in."
"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. My momma always said, 'Life is like a final exam. It's tough.'"
"Yes, Forest, I know. But this test only has three questions. Here they are."
Which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?
How many seconds are in a year?
What is God's first name?
Forest smiled and said, "The first one is easy. The two days that start with 'T' are Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter was surprised but said, "Well, that's not what I was expecting, but you have a point. I'll give you credit for that one."
"Next question," said Forest. "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."
"Twelve?" St. Peter asked, confused.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd..."
St. Peter interrupted him, realizing what Forest meant. "I see. I'll give you credit for that, too."
Forest smiled and said, "And the last question, 'What is God's first name?' It's Andy."
"Andy?" St. Peter said, shocked. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"
"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it," Forest said, singing, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."
St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!"
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A judge asks a defendant to please stand.
"You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw."
From the back of the courtroom, a man shouts, "You lying bastard!"
"Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You tightwad!" blurts the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge.
"You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to shout.
The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?"
"I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"
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