UPDATE - and an interesting one at that.

Chris G sent me the e mail below, and I inserted it in last weeks newsletter. I had quite a few responses to it but Chris G himself added an update - below his original e mail - so scroll down -

e mail Number 1 -

Back last August my Mother announced she wanted to spend Christmas with me at my house and that Father and my 2 younger brothers would be coming with them, and I assumed she was joking. I never agreed this in any way and nothing else was said - not a single phone call, email, text or anything and I mean - total silence - UNTIL - December 23rd they all turned up at my door.

I am the black sheep of the family. Gay. Single, Big house bought through working 18 hours a day 7 days a week for some years and I have done better than any of them. We do not speak from one month to another and since August when Mother first mentioned Christmas, I have not heard a word. She is a difficult old duck and I want as little to do with her and family as I can. They are racist bigoted bullies - they are really unpleasant people and I am best off without them. It saddens me, but that's how it is.

I come from scummy people.

I was absolutely astounded to see them through the bedroom window emptying cases from the car and coming to my front door.

I panicked.

I pretended to be out.

They banged and banged and I could see them through the security cameras trying to see through the windows and even trying to get round to the back garden to see if they could get in that way but the alarm system has some serious locks on various outdoor gates and they were unable.

I could see they were getting irritated and angry with me not being there to greet them with Egg Nogg and a home mad mince pie - as to be honest, I had plans to spend a sexy fuck fest Christmas at a friends for the whole of Christmas and New Year and it was only by chance that I was there to see this unfold, as a few hours later I had plans to go to my friends.

I stayed hidden for over two hours as they simply would not leave - they even shouted through the letter box, threw stones at windows and banged and banged the door and windows.

I stayed hidden from view and called a friend for help. He was brilliant. He drove past the house a while later and stopped - pretending to just be passing and saw them at my door, and he stopped and asked what they were doing as I was out of the country for Christmas and New Year and not returning until the middle of January.

That's when I saw my Mother throw herself on the ground and throw one almighty hissy fit - screaming and carrying on and I have to admit, I did laugh - and stay hidden.

My friend stood there watching this and I did hear him say ' What the fuck are you people on ? He's had this planned for ages. Why would you assume to just turn up in this fashion.'

Words were exchanged and after a few minutes my friend got in his car and simply left - and he called me on my mobile ( which parents do not have the number of - just my land line ) and with phone on silent, he told me they were furious and he left when she was screaming on the ground as he had said his piece and felt it time to go. It took yet another hour of them banging on the door and ringing the bell before they left and it was so awful.

I otherwise enjoyed a very nice fuck fest Christmas at my friends house and I am glad to say I never gave it another thought. Mind you, it's only December 28th as I write this to you so God knows what will happen after the New year and after they think I fly home. Actually, I don't care what they think, I have had it with them .

Chris G

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UPDATE

Hi John: After reading my e mail in your Blog - which did make me laugh and cringe at the same time, I thought I would give you an update.

After spending a wonderful Fuck Fest time over Christmas with my friends, I returned home with somewhat trepidation as to what I might expect to find.

It seems family had been busy.

December 24th - the next day and by now I am merrily getting well fucked elsewhere and not even thinking about them any more - it seems things turned ugly.

They returned - Banged and again got no answer as this time I really was elsewhere.

They called the police - told them I was injured and unconscious inside my house and would they break in to see if I was okay, and after making enquiries, it seems the police were not satisfied with their complaint and it was clear I was not injured when my stupid Mother accidentally let it slip that they had been told I was away for Christmas and New Year but that she expected me to be home so they could spend the holidays with me - and they were told off and threatened with prosecution for wasting police time.

Neighbours told me the police were there outside my home for some time with the family and eventually left - and the family stood there perplexed as to what to do next. ( You know how neighbours love to peek from behind their net curtains and ESPECIALLY when a police car turns up. )

After the police left my Mother tried to get my father to break the door down to get in and that's when two things happened. My watchful neighbour called the police and reported people were trying to break into my house, and my silent alarm was set off and the police and security company were on it straight away.

Three police cars and a load of security arrived and it was shouts and anger - Mother throwing herself on the ground with the police just standing there watching and - I am sure - laughing - and when the whole story came out after interrogation, they were once again threatened with arrest for attempted break in - and part of me thinks - IS THIS FUCKING REAL ?

They left and were not seen again.

After I got home in the New Year there was 45 voicemail messages from various family members - mostly an irate Mother - screaming down the phone and screaming abuse, REAL THREATENING STUFF - so I reported it to the police.

Surprisingly the officer they sent round to see me about this was one of the ones who attended when the family were trying to break in and he listened to a few of the messages and told me he would be making further enquiries.

When the police turned up at Mothers front door - questioning about serious threats of physical violence ( that's my Mother for you )

All I heard from the police was that they were not taking any action against them but had given them a serious talking to about their behaviour and the threats he had heard and the way they had tried to lie to get access to the house when they KNEW I was away.

They were left with a badly stung ego and the police were absolutely understanding and sympathetic and - it surprised me - had time to congratulate me on my alarm system and how I had simply avoided the situation.

I was chuffed.

Not heard from Mother or anyone since and while they know I now know what went down - thanks to my friendly neighbours, they are keeping well away and THANK GOD FOR THAT.

What I cannot get over - is this was like a bad movie - a bad sit com - some badly written piece for some trashy family TV programme and even now I have to pinch myself to realise this was real. My family actually did that. They actually did all that and I am - to put it mildly, absolutely disgusted and appalled.

I shall not speak to them, contact them, send cards on Birthdays etc. or anything and while they have kept their distance so far, it is only January and I wait with baited breath to see what happens as the year progresses.

I shall MOST CERTAINLY make it as clear as possible that they are NEVER welcome at my home ever again. It is sad but my whole life has been a chaotic mess because of my Mother and how she expects us all to bow and scrape to her every whim and I suppose being the gay son gave me bigger balls than my father or brothers and I was always the black sheep who stood up to her and in childhood, would be beaten by her to comply, which clearly - didn't work.

I am happier of without them in my life.

Thanks John. It really helped for me to write it all down and send to you and is good therapy. Happy New Year to you John and I shall come and stay with you some time this year, I think I deserve it.

Chris G.

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Your input and stories are always welcome.

John: Read your piece from the guy whose Mother caused mayhem at Christmas. When my Mother found out that my brother had invited me and my boyfriend to his wedding - my Mother threw a tantrum and threw herself on the floor screaming about what she had to put up with - and my brother - bemused- asked exactly what he had said that so upset her and what - exactly - did she have to 'put up with' ?

She didn't dare say that it was because I am gay and that she was fearful the family would find out and being as we are from Greece and Turkey - and how family matters a great deal to her - and what they think and feel and know - and how she is ashamed to have a gay son that - in her opinion - is not good for her reputation and standing in the family as the matriarch - and where she is more concerned with her own standing in the family rather than the happiness of her children, the one thing we three sons have learned, is to laugh at her.

In 20 years of knowing I am gay she had moved nowhere - stayed stuck and uneducated and has not moved an inch forward in her growth as a human being and has stayed stuck.

Father is completely dominated by her but we do talk and he has said ' You know how your Mother is .' - so we have learned to ignore her and when she throws herself on the floor, which has happened before, we just look at her and walk away leaving her alone on the floor. It is so pathetic - and sad - yet funny .

The sad thing is, she thinks we are all wrong and after all these years, she STILL has not learned and is still so stuck in her old fashioned belief system.

Some mothers are appalling in their behaviour. Mine especially.

Eric.

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Dear Sir: After reading your Blog last week I had to add that my Mother use to throw herself on the floor when we were kids and we never knew why until after she died and father spoke up for the first time. Seems it was usually around the time when father was wanting sex - you know - Christmas, Birthdays. Fathers Day and if he was lucky, maybe once or twice more during the year - and Father said she treated it as a real chore and would throw tantrums to get out of it. She died of breast cancer when she was just 48 and Father re married 3 years later and BOY did we kids see a change in atmosphere around the house. Seems Step Mother was one affectionate lady and father took great pleasure at the new life he had and things improved ENORMOUSLY. I can however never forget seeing my Mother throw herself on the floor crying and carrying on. It's a lingering site I can never un see and never forget - and shows how pathetic and desperate she was - how tragic for her - and mostly how tragic for father actually married to that - and how some people really have to put up with a lot.

Alan

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