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The lack of care shown by many in the LGBTQ community during this pandemic has left me astounded.

Hamilton Hall started sending out its weekly Newsletter Blog at the beginning of the initial Pandemic Lockdown in March 2020.

It has proven to be massively appreciated and read in dozens of countries - and our web presence has rissen enormously and has helped many cope with the isolation, just hearing weekly from a nut job, a friend, a familiar supportive person, someone who invites your input, your questions and your fears and we are here to help in whatever way we can.

No questions asked.

It is the human thing to do, to be there for each other and not to hybernate in a hole and vanish from view until you want something - until you need something, until it's all over and the storm clouds have gone and where many have felt abandoned by groups and organisations who have been noticed by their complete absence - their complete lack of thought for others and when they do come out of the woodwork now the pandemic looks to be ending, it is to promote their workshops, their venues and their events coming up after this all ends, and not a thought of what others have been through, the stresses and mental anguish, sexual frustration and loneliness - and all that seems to concern is getting their message out there that they are back and wanting your business and money.

MANY have voiced concern to me here about the complete isolation felt and the desolation offered by many support groups who - quite simply - have done nothing.

But: Many have worked tirelessly to help, and many have put their heart and soul into offering the best they can during these harrowing times - like the volunteers who have helped roll out the vaccination programme - or like my local church who delivers food to those who cannot get out and about,- and helping feed the people who cannot afford much during these times and who are financially strapped, as many are. Many have volunteered and worked tirelessly - giving the best of themselves at a time when humanity has fallen down the rabbit hole and is desperate for some guidance, some communication, some truthful and caring input - just so they know they have not been forgotten.

There are many wonderfully kind hearted and considerate people out there doing the decent thing and helping others and sadly there are those who should be helping, even if just a regular e mail to see how you are - or a phone call to those not on-line - as a friendly voice helps beyond belief.

If this was 25 years ago I would have been out there delivering food etc. and doing a great deal more, but at 66 and with many health problems, I have done what I could. Many have not.

I received an e mail today from a Tantra group in Spain who we have been in communication with me just a few times, and whose e mail today was 100% a promotion of events they have coming up and not a single word asking how we are coping, how things are, what precautions they have in place concerning Covid or anything other than to promote themselves. Not a word, not one single phrase, showing concern for those they are e mailing - not a word of thoughtfulness towards others and it was all about themselves, and I was stunned. I e mailed in return and stated this fact and have not heard in reply, and within a day I was blocked from seeing their web site as my 'membership ' was suddenly closed -

and it seems that rather than approach the problem of their absolutely disgraceful attitude, they run away and block me and it just adds to what I say


It saddens - as if these able bodied people cannot think of others during these trying times, what is their worth in normal times when we now know they do not 'have your back ' - they ' do not give a damn' - and they clearly have absolutely no thoughts for others and ESPECIALLY the members on their group that they are suppose to be there for - yet they show no concern for others and it comes over as just selfish behaviour, and how unenlightened is that - especially as in this case it was from a spiritual group whose actions are unenlightned.

Many do not offer the best of themselves.

So clearly - some groups are not worth it - who it would appear have done nothing - and they betray their very ethos and they let down their members and they run from anything that is decent in humanity by turning away from responsinbility - and they deserve nothing from us when this all ends.

It just goes to show that many who volunteer to be on committees to run some of these groups, do so for all the wrong reason. It is an ego trip. Attention seeking. As when there is real work to do - when there is a genuine need of - something - NOTHING is forthcoming and this says a great deal.

Maybe I am being harsh. Maybe I am expecting too much from others.

My Grandmother always said that during the war ( WW2 ) the people of England pulled together and got through it by uniting and supporting in whatever way was needed and the emotional strength of the UK was stronger then - during a global war, than it is today, where many think only off themselves and do precious little for anyone else. Marching against lockdown or the vaccine , really just is trouble making and does not help at all, it just shows the state of your mental health. It interestes me that - a former hooker - whore - rent boy - escort - prostitute - call me what you like, offers more than the lawyers, doctors, business owners, and all those who would look down on the sex worker yet are the very people who have let the community down by doing nothing and will bitch about the sex worker and try and put down - when the truth is that the sex workers of the world do a great deal more good for their communities than many of the 'so called - decent people' ( ? ) - and it is the sex workers who are often more in touch with their humanity - more thoughtful and more compassionate towards their fellow man than tens of thousands of you ' decent folk ' who do fuck all.

Time for us all to re evaluate who is - and who is not - a true and decent human being and who - after all is said and done, are the manipulative ego driven assholes who only care about themselves and their standing in the community they have done nothing for during the most stressful and isolating time in any of our lives.

To those who drove, phoned, wrote, delivered, worked hard often for long tiring hours 7 days a week, and gave of themselves, my heart felt thanks goes to you all and you are in many prayers and thoughts for your decency - your compassion and your thoughtful manner. To those who supported their family, their friends, their community - as without those who did something - without the hard working NHS - without all those who rose to the occasion, I take my hat off to you all and will always remember - as you are the special ones, the most worthy and the ones to be remembered - with love.

John Bellamy








Dear Joihn: Wanted to e mail and say how much I enjoy your Blog. Once again, superb . Thought I'd e mail to say thanks and to say how much this Blog each week means to me. Alone here. Other than a weekly shop, I speak to no one. No family. Good to read your news and the interesting items I would otherwise not find. Loved the man in the woods camping with his dogs, watched that for hours. Hope to visit when this is all over.

Terry. John. I am sure you hear this all the time but thankyou from my heart. What you offer the gay world is amazing and I don't think I know of anyone or anywhere else that is as concerned and interested in others the way you are. You certainly put youself out there to help and it does get noticed. No other gay venue has kept in touch and have all just closed and vanished. You keep us up to date with your Blog and thank goodness you do. Will visit as soon as possible. Hope you have a good bank holiday. Geoff.

You are absolutely correct John. I am on ( names supplied ) a gay mens community group and other than a few e mails between members themselves, the group itself have offered nothing at all and it is absolutely as if the group had closed down until recently when they started promoting their events they hope to offer later in the year and even then, not a word about how we were doing or anything, just a promo for their workshop events, and it was as if a time warp meant nothing had happened for this last year. Not a single mention. So uncaring it shocked me after such a long time. I honestly thought they might use their data base to get locals in touch with each other - or at least send out a regular Blog like you have - but absolutely nothing at all. Fine, I can go to their web site, but nothing directly to the members at all. I shall not be renewing my membership as I feel grossly let down by a gay group that I thought was all about support, when it turns out it is nothing more than an ego boost for the few in charge.

( name withheld )

Absolutely agree with your sentiment about how many on the LGBT scene have let the rest of us down during this pandemic John. As you say, we have noticed and will remember who has not been there for us. Vince.

John. My local church has been wonderful. It supplied me with food stuff as I could not get out ( disabled ) and they delivered everything I couild need. Being old and frail - as I am 76 - it helped enormously. Your weekly Newsletter has also been a delight and so funny at times - I do laugh at your articles and especially enjoyed some of the men camping in the wilds. Thank goodness for the internet. I cannot even imagine what my parents did during the war with no TV, no social media, just the radio. We live in different times and we live in interesting times. Not necessarily better times though. Michael ( London )

Dear John> I wanted to e mail and say how I can see why you have been in business at Hamilton Hall for 21 years. I can see exactly why you have so many who adore you and your venue. I can see why so many may resent and envy. I can see your path out of this pandemic being a very different path to those who offered nothing. They will be the loudest. They will be the most attention seeking and they will be the ones claiming to have done so much while actually doing nothing at all and many will see them for what they truly are. These are interesting times and we see how the scum will rise to the surface after this all ends and we shall know exactly who to ignore from now on. David. ( Cardiff )

I am on the committee of ( name given ) and when lockdown started there was a sense of panic not knowing what the group should do. We had to cancel events planned and take consideration of costs involved in cancelling. It was suggested we could do something but no one seemed to know just what. So it turned out to be nothing. Now the committee has started falling over themselves to get things organised and re started but not once have I been asked how things were going or how I was. Many seem more concerned with their own standing in the community and being seen to be doing something now the end is near and it is being seen DURING - not at the end - that we needed to see, and was suggested but it seemed no one showed enough interest and nothing was done. I get your Blog and stayed with you once a year before this craziness started and had a great time. You really have been busy keeping in touch with your guests and friends and it has been a valuable weekly reminder that there are those who care and there are tjose who only care about themsleves. I shall return as soon as possible. David.

Love the Blog John. As usual. And that guy Chad in the loincloth. I watched 5 of his videos all together late one night and so interesting and so sensual, it was a real tun on and I must confess to having a wank while watching. Great stuff and much better than porn. Steve .


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