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I died on 2019

John. Feel the need to share this with you.

I died this time in 2019

Leaving a pub late at night with a friend, we were hit by a drunk driver doing in excess of 60 miles an hour and I was thrown over 150 yard down the road and left in a crumpled broken mess.

My friend died on the spot. He was just 27.

The driver was left completely unharmed and walked away - apparently. He later got barred from driving for 3 years and given an 18 month prison sentence.

It seems life is cheap.

I have absolutely no recollection of the evening let alone the accident and what thoughts I do have were shared with me by those attending the scene and friends inside the pub who came rushing out after hearing the noise.

I died on the roadway in the gutter. Laying in a pool of my own blood.

Paramedics were there within minutes and got my heart going again and it was touch and go if I would survive the journey to the hospital.

I didn't.

I died again in the ambulance and was again resuscitated.

The third and final time I died - was in the hospital while they operated on my broken body - and during all of this, I was not aware of anything but this white light and this - voice - although it was not a voice one heard, but felt, and the feeling was one of complete love. Unconditional love. The voice was inside my being and not external.

It was a mans voice ( sorry feminists ) a soft gentle and warm voice speaking in perfect English with not a hint of an accent ( sorry foreigners & northerners ) and spoke kindly and reassuringly that I was okay and not to worry.

I was not aware of a body. I was not aware of a person with me. I was not aware of anything physical at all and it was all - it seemed - going on within this white light, surrounding and encompassing everything, and within that cloud of light;- was the voice;- was my presence and was all that I perceived to be.

I knew I was dead. I knew I was in the place people speak of who have had a Near Death Experience ( NDE ) and I was not fearful - more intrigued by it all.

I asked if my body was alright.

Th answer was that ' It will be.'

I asked ' Does that mean I am still alive ?'

'You will be soon - they are working on you'

:So I have to leave this place.' I asked

'Yes' came the answer, ' There is much for you to do yet.'

That's when I became aware of a figure in the whiteness. It was an Uncle I hardly ever knew. His warm smile felt and looked familiar even though I was a small child when he passed, but it was as if he was a long lost friend.

In seconds we had a vast conversation - ending with how I had to go back and sort some things out, and as if he nudged me - I was suddenly aware of this splitting headache which was the worst ever, and then I came round. I had been in a coma for 3 weeks - but to me it seemed as if time had stood still, or as if I had stepped out of time - and as my body healed - and as I had been unconscious, time just seem to stop.

I am more or less recovered but have some walking difficulties and I cannot use my left arm very well all this time later and all sorts of things that now cause me concern, but I am alive and I remember SO CLEARY the conversation and the white light and all that happened, the only problem now, is figuring out what it is I have come back to sort out ?

It is early days. My health is still a slow routine with various therapies and counsellors who fear for my mental state and when I told them this story, I thought they would think me nuts, but it appears they hear this kind of story quite often and even sent someone to see me who specializes in NDE - and life goes on.

So I am searching. I am on a quest. I know life will never be the same again as I cannot work as my concentration is limited yet I feel I am on course for whatever I have to do and for whatever this re birth is to teach me.

I shall visit HH again as it has been over a decade and I have never forgotten your kind soul John and wanted to share this with you. I do so enjoy your weekly Blog. Believe me John, it has taken ages for me to write this - ages.

( Name withheld as requested )


I have invited him to come stay as my guest any time and we can chat and take it from there. Having something to look forward to, besides hospital appointments, can really help cheer the spirit and give a reason to keep going. I have had several clients over the years with similar car crash stories and the wonderment felt cannot be put into words as there simply are no words that carry the meaning, the compassion and the size of what is shared - and words so limit. I have also had several ' happenings' like a NDE and I completely appreciate and understand the majesty of it all. Words really cannot explain it all.

Thankyou Tony.

John Bellamy


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