and how can we be a men only venue
men only venue
how we qualify
After the law was changed in 2011 I knew it was only a matter of time before some female homophobe phoned and attempted to make a booking and when told we were a men only venue, started arguing with me. I told her I was not going to discuss it and hung up and she reported us - and we were investigated. With hundreds of hotels and B&B's in the Bournemouth area, she chose to call the only men only hotel to stay at and this was deliberate. So in 2011 we were contacted by the Equality & Human Rights Commission - who were extrenmly helpful.
He stated he had seen our web site and how I had a huge piece on it concerning the law, but that as the law had recently been changed, it needed updating. He offered to send me various links to the governments web site that he felt would be of use to me and I went exploring. Within 2 weeks it was done and after allowing him a few days to see what I had uploaded, we were sent a very nice letter stating we could remain as a MEN ONLY VENUE, all legal and correct.
If we have SHARED ACCOMMODATION - SHARED BATHROOM FACILITIES and / or EXTREME EMBARRASMENT COULD BE CAUSED BY MIXING THE SEXES, you can legally discriminate. For example: A house for women escaping abusive men cannot allow men in the building.
Hamilton Hall has some shared bedrooms and therefore shared bathroom facilities;- and with a dorm room for 4 people sharing;- and being a clothing optional venue, this could cause concern when going naked and could easily create extreme enbarrasment for some.
We qualified to be a MEN ONLY VENUE - all legal and above board and I have a wonderful letter framed in the hall from Andrew Goldsby of the EHRC thanking me for my time and work involved and I truly felt he was sympathetic to us as he probably deals with real discrimination and sees the harm it can do, whereas a silly women just trying to be funny, just means we needed to dot the i's and cross the t's and make it all correct and up to date with the new laws.
the law is an arse
big fat raspberry
As a business I get colour flyers from the government and the local council concerning how to cook an egg ( der ... ) buying illegally poached salmon ( WTF ? ) sun beds for the under 16's - (which I do not even have) and when the law on smoking was changed, HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of leaflets and e mails and posters came winging my way - and yet when the law on discrimination came into play - NOT A SINGLE WORD. Not a single e mail, poster or flyer, and considering this really does affect every single business in the land - and is such an important piece of legislation, you really would assume that if they can send me a flyer on sun beds, then they could help educate business on the law change, but apparently not. So, THE LAW IS AN ASS, or more to the point, the law is not the ass, the manner in which the government has not publicised what it says to business, is the ass but then, when we see how the government recently got it SO WRONG with Covid, it is no wonder.
In the real world these politicians wouldn't know how to scramble an egg.
I was reminded that I had an ENORMOUS response concerning this on my old web site which, sadly, is lost, and with around 8 full pages detailing exactly how and why, I have simplified it here and made it really simple.
Today a man tried exactly the same thing with me as happened some years ago - which is VERY rare, and tried to argue with me that he should be allowed to bring his wife and again, I told him to simply learn what the law does in fact say and that I was not about to have a heated debate on something that is for him to check out, and not for me to educate him. He can do what I had to do - for himself spending days and days reading and learning through the internet.
So - BIG FAT JUICY RASPBERRY to all those who after hundreds of years discriminating against gay men, and who now find we have an ability to discriminate against them - and BOY THEY DO NOT LIKE IT WHEN IT IS GIVEN IN REVERSE. but seem not to recognise how they have been or the reasons why we can legally discriminate,
SO BIG FAT RASPBERRY TO THEM.
discrimination from within the lgbt community
One of the things I was warned about before opening Hamilton Hall was the amount of abuse I would have to get use to from within the gay community. Bryan Derbyshire - Journalist, Publisher, Editor of HIM Magazine back in the 80's and Gay Rights Advocate - warned me - as did several friends who had previously owned gay hotels and B&B's - and it was no shock even then as I had been use to a certain level of abuse as a sex worker, but as this was - kinda - expected, I was not expecting the level of hate and bile that some from within the LGBT community throw at others - also from within the LGBT community - they resent.
Be warned- The Gay Community can be a lethal place to reside - an unsupportive - belittling and plainly destructive environment for those who offer something - anything - that others resent.
There are also wonderful kind and thoughtful people out there, so be selective and be careful and try and be one of the nice guys.