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the star rating system is really not worth the money

hamilton hall is not star rated

the only stars here, are you

The star rating system is not worth the money.

Bournemouth Tourist Board wanted over £600 to include Hamilton Hall in its Tourist Guidebook each year and for this, they do not even get you customers.  You are simply lost in a magazine of hotel adverts - hundreds of them - and the star rating system is a joke these days and somewhat unworthy.

I have stayed in many 3 and 4 star hotels to be absolutely horrified. Bad decor. Bad room style. Limited refreshments in the room. Poor service. Mediocre breakfast. Unfriendly bar staff.  Expensive for anything and everything.

( I was recently charged £6.00 for 3 days newspapers I was not even given in a hotel in Guernsey as the papers had been unavailable on the island and no one had  a paper - PERIOD - yet I was charged,  and when I complained and it as refunded, it was done so with a huffy attitude problem as if it was my fault. )

I have stayed at many 5 star hotels throughout the London area and I have only found one - The Four Seasons - that offered a truly remarkable venue while the others,  somehow, all let you down and for the price, this was unnacceptable.
Bedroom lights that were not working - bad decor - uncomfortable beds and old fashioned bedding - creaky floorboards - poor service in the bars and restaurants and I do have to wonder what has happened to the service industry that 5 stars these days do not mean what it did a few decades ago.


We may not buy into the star system, but unlike any of the venues I have found - anywhere - we offer something very different and even more worthy than a star system that all too often dissapoints...  as Hamilton Hall offers a guarantee. 

Hamilton Hall has a


Food Hygiene Rating

We know of no other hotel that offers a guarantee where if you can find another men only hotel  that offers superior bedrooms - better facilities;- a friendlier atmosphere;- finer food  and generally surpassing us in all ways - and is compartitively priced to us and is clothing optional - has a web site we can view and is better than us - and is in the UK, then after examination if we agree, we will refund your stay up to 60 days after you were here.

In 23 years of being in business ( We opened March 2000 ) we have never been offered details of a similar venue to us and had to pay money back on guarantee.  You see it is simple, Hamilton Hall is one of a kind and you will not find a  men only, clothing optional hotel that is legal and offers all the Health & Safety and legal requirements - and is not just a B&B in a private house with a couple of spare bedrooms -  charging as much as us, if not  a great deal more, while putting your Health and Safety at risk.

Not everyone likes me and some find me hard to take - and there are some guests that even we find hard to cope with - and as a Community Hotel where we encourage conversation and in-depth dialogue on all sorts of topics,  some find this hard to cope with and as some are more shallow and others more 'in depth' - I encourage visitors to relax, chill out and join in and make  some fun  new memories.

One guy on Trip Advisor some years ago,  stated we had only one bathroom - no showers - it was an apartment with a few spare bedrooms and not even a hotel - served microwaved food slopped on a plate, how we encouraged all the guests to have sex together and how the owner ( me ) was in need of serious therapy - and I probably do need therapy but the rest was completely made up - he couldn't actually find anything truthful to moan at so made it all up, and this tragic man is so lost in a negative headspace that I do not even wish to venture there. 



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